Grateful Without Comparison

“He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’”
Luke 18:9-14 (ESV)

“I am grateful that I am not like the children starving in Africa?”
“I am so grateful that I am not blind like her.”
“I am so grateful that I do not have the condition that she has.”
“I am grateful that I look better than her.”

Looking at this parable we can see the similarities between the Pharisee’s statements and the once below it. Looking at them we can see how elevating one’s self and negative comparing puts the focus on the wrong person. I know there is a good sentiment to appreciate the little things and realize that people have it worse off, but this strategy can backfire. It still keeps you comparing yourself to others. It also means that if that person gets better than you in some way it may hurt at a different level. Additionally, it could lead you to keep them down where they are so you can do better. Studies have tested this out and people who expressed gratitude without comparison were happier than the group that compared and made “better than” thankful statements. This is not the compassion and love that Christ taught us about and not the thankfulness that is His desire for your heart. He wants the deep gratitude bubbling out of your heart. Gratitude that you just cannot stop. Gratitude because our expectations have been far surpassed.

Gratitude is build out of adjusting expectations and what we deserve. We deserve nothing! We are sinners and continually fall short. When given the chance we choose evil and forget the vast, loving, power and provision our Father has given us. When we start to look at the gifts and thank God for being Him we start to see a shift. When we look at our life as perfect gifts from God, we start to see a different heart. We can focus on God’s goodness, not the stuff, but God. It helps us to go through ups and downs because God is so good. It allows you to be grateful for your situation regardless of how everyone else is doing.

This type of gratitude is not easy because it really makes you focus on your dependence. This dependence can be hard to admit, but you do not have as much control over your  life as you may think. You have to humble yourself and realize that you got help along the way. You are a receiver of this great gifts. We already know we are not good enough, yet He gives lavish gifts out of love and made a way for us to be in relationship with Him, go to Heaven and bring the Kingdom of God to Earth.

Being truly grateful transforms your heart, but it is a hard practice to develop. One way to start is to try to keep a gratuity journal that you fill out once a week.  It would be great if after you do it you say a prayer of thanksgiving to God. Another way is to keep a visual reminder, maybe even a post it, that prompts you to think about one think you are grateful for. You may even make it a question, “What has God given you?” If you are having a hard time you may need to look at your expectations and reflect on what you feel like you deserve. Look at if you feel like you expected something or feel owed something. A lot of times I see myself getting stuck into expecting things to go one way and having a hard time being grateful forr the amazing gifts I do have. It is a process, but the more you check in with yourself and look at your expectations you can really start to embody the thankful heart that God wants for each of us.

I will end with a couple of Bible verses for you to read through about comparison and thankfulness:

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
Philippians 2:3-4 ESV

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
Psalm 23:1 ESV

Psalm 136 (Yes, I put the whole chapter! I love the repetitious reminder of His steadfast love!)
1Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,     
for his steadfast love endures forever.
2 Give thanks to the God of gods,     
for his steadfast love endures forever.
3 Give thanks to the Lord of lords,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
4 to him who alone does great wonders,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
5 to him who by understanding made the heavens,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
6 to him who spread out the earth above the waters,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
7 to him who made the great lights,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
8 the sun to rule over the day,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
9 the moon and stars to rule over the night,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
10 to him who struck down the firstborn of Egypt,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
11 and brought Israel out from among them,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
12 with a strong hand and an outstretched arm,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
13 to him who divided the Red Sea in two,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
14 and made Israel pass through the midst of it,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
15 but overthrew[a] Pharaoh and his host in the Red Sea,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
16 to him who led his people through the wilderness,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
17 to him who struck down great kings,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
18 and killed mighty kings,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
19 Sihon, king of the Amorites,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
20 and Og, king of Bashan,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
21 and gave their land as a heritage,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
22 a heritage to Israel his servant,     
for his steadfast love endures forever.
23 It is he who remembered us in our low estate,     
for his steadfast love endures forever; 24 and rescued us from our foes,     
for his steadfast love endures forever;
25 he who gives food to all flesh,     
for his steadfast love endures forever.
26 Give thanks to the God of heaven,     
for his steadfast love endures forever.



Feel free to add your favorite verses on gratefulness and comparison in the comments below!
<3 Jessica